I have a leak in my game. In a poker tournament, especially in the early and early-mid stages; I typically play very well, and often (especially lately) I have found myself making very good decisions and dragging big pots. The problem though is the mid-mid and later stages; my play is okay, but mentally I psyche myself out. Really, I wimp out.
Case in point - in the absurd LAPC event #1, the $75 coinflip, I mean... er Facebook tournament; I made two plays against the same opponent to take a big portion of his stack.
Hand 1 - I raised 3 limpers big (6x I believe) with Ah6d from the cutoff. This was a soft table overall, and all 3 limpers were passive; I would have been happy to isolate one of them. Instead I got heads up with the small blind who had a gang of chips and decided he was going to be the poker sheriff. Everyone else folded.
I was reading a lot of heat off of him, so when the flop came ragged with an Ace I checked behind to induce; he obliged nice and chunky on the turn which put a third club on the board, I called. The river of course was a fourth club and he barreled again, a good sized value bet. Instead of insta-folding, as is my usual course of action, I actually went into the tank and replayed the hand in my head from the beginning. I also considered what I had seen from him so far at the table. He was rather pathological in his defense of his blinds and had twice failed with wonky bluffs out of position.
I cut out the chips I would need to pay him off. My stack was still viable. His story was rather credible, but something just didn't smell right. I tossed in the chips and waited for him to show. He didn't want to. I quickly turned up my naked pair and he disgustedly mucked. Gasps around the table. I dragged a substantial pot. I did see out of the corner of my eye that he had turned up 2 low red cards, complete air.
Hand 2 - My memory is a lot hazier on this one. It was a couple of orbits later, he had been very active since our tangle, winning and losing a few pots. He raised it up UTG+2. All folded to me on the button, I defended. This is a habit I've gotten into, and I think it's a good one - I defend my button a whole lot more than I defend my blinds. I'm especially happy to do so if someone is a donator, which so far this fellow was. My cards didn't matter too much, but for the record they were 108.
Flop came ragged with a king, he c-bet, I floated. Don't remember what the turn was. He checked and I bet half the pot. He folded, clearly rattled and flustered, muttering under his breath.
I dragged the chips again, but I couldn't lift my head and look him or anyone else in the eye.
THIS is my leak.
I'm afraid of making people feel bad. I'm afraid of being confrontational. I just want to be anonymous at the poker table.
This is wrong. I should embrace being intimidating. I've had more than one person that I didn't know confide to me away from the table that I CAN be a bit scary. This is okay. Not mean or nasty, not rude - but people should be more than a bit afraid of tangling with me.
But there I was, self-doubt enveloping me. I had completely outplayed this guy now, twice. He was not a good player - he had somehow stumbled into a big stack, but now he was in the business of getting rid of it. He played way too much out of position, his bet sizing was kooky - he massively over bet a lot, which insured he would get minimal value with made hands and zero bluff value with air if his opponent had hit their hand.
I should have been going out of my way more often to get into pots with him - as well as several others. But as the tournament continued, and I was now flush with a big stack, I began an internal monologue that was very unhelpful.
"Did I deserve that first pot? Did I play it right? Am I just a calling station that randomly caught someone bluffing? Better shift gears and wait for a premium now that everyone thinks I'm a maniac."
WRONG.
Everyone thinks I'm a maniac - this is great. Keep the pressure on. That's right bitches, this is MY table. Hi there, how are you? Good, glad you're having fun. I'M ALL IN.
I need to let go of my fear, fear of being ostracized or looked on askance or whatever. I must never lose my friendliness - but it's okay to have that edge of intimidation, to strike a little fear into peoples hearts when it comes to the cards and the chips.
I really need to work on giving myself credit when I make one of my "lucky" decisions - as I've been making more and more of them lately. These aren't necessarily lucky, I've worked very long and very hard in developing the skill set of reading people. It is starting to pay off and I need to have faith that even if I can't quite put my finger on why I made the correct decision, I HAVE made it, and it almost certainly wasn't just dumb luck that I did.
Two tournaments ago in my home game - I was going to quickly muck my second pair on the river, but then I hesitated. Something about my opponents bet just didn't seem right. I thought for about 30 seconds, and then finally talked myself into folding. He showed the bluff. Fuck.
I need to listen to that inner voice more often - as lately it is usually correct. My first instinct is sometimes right sometimes wrong, but in taking time to rethink the hand is where I almost always get on the path to getting it right.
So to plug this leak of intimidation - this leak of uncertainty; I need to do two things much more often.
1. TANK. As much as I hate tankers, I need to become one, in bigger tournaments in big pots. STOP. TANK AND THINK.
2. Embrace the beast. It's okay to be a force at the table. I've worked hard at it. I deserve it. This is a tournament. I'm not taking mortgage money. I'm not taking food off of their kids plates. They're going to go hit the cash game after they bust. I'm providing a service. Tournaments are all that I do. This alone gives me an edge against a lot of recreational players.
As an exercise, the very next tournament I play here is what I'm going to do.
As soon as I drag a big pot, the VERY NEXT HAND, regardless of what I have, I'm coming in for a raise no matter what. Either opening the pot, raising limpers big, or three betting a raiser. That's what I'm doing. Now if I have trash I'm of course shutting it down if I whiff completely and am out of position. But if I connect in any way or have position, you better believe I'm fighting for that pot.
I must shake this nonsense idea that I'm not good enough. Against most amateurs I'm more than good enough - and that's what these low buy in big guarantee events are full of.
