KAPOW

Well my online league (Flatline Poker) had to postpone our Tournament of Champions because the website for the server that we use, Poker Academy, was inexplicably down for the entire month of December.

So what is an action junkie to do with no poker to play, other than the usual brain numbing grind of micro-stakes on Full Tilt? Go to Hollywood Park Casino naturally!

On Sunday, December 21, I had to work. But instead of going for 8 hours at once, which is so common and boring - I skipped out halfway through my day, planning to return in the late afternoon to finish my shift fully. I figured once I spent a couple of hours and donked off my chips in the HPC Sunday Tournament, there would still be plenty of time to be a responsible adult.

The Sunday 10K Guarantee at HPC is the largest regular NLHE tournament in Sourthern California. The Commerce has a bigger poker room, The Bike is more prestigious, but Hollywood Park has the lowest buy-ins and the most regular tournaments. Typically, the Sunday 10K features about 30 tables of ten, with a $35 entry fee (plus another $20 when you sit down) with ulimited $30 rebuys in the first hour and an option for up to a $30 add-on at the break. I budget $120, but rarely reach that limit.

So there I was, excited to shuffle some chips and have a grand old silly time with my fellow degenerates. I wasn't especially planning on cashing, I was there for fun. But over five and a half hours later, I found myself not back in my office, but looking at a shot to make some real money.

Everything started out as it usually does, with the re-buy period encouraging frequently catastrophic aggression. I managed to stay above the fray for the most part, but I doubled up when my checked big blind special AJ hit an ace on the flop. I led out a 2/3 of the pot bet, it folded around to the button who pushed all in. I insta-called and his A7os was crushed to my Top Pair Good Kicker.

Why the snap call for all of my chips?

I had developed a pretty good read on this guy as a fish who was trying desperately to double up, no matter how many times he had to plunk down $30. His mentality was not that uncommon in this tournament, but his propensity for less than good play was definitely high on the donkey scale. So when he pushed after my raise, after limping pre-flop, I knew my call was automatic, and not just because my gut was screaming that I had the best hand.

1. It was the rebuy period, if I got felted I had budgeted ahead to rebuy if neccessary. 2. He had been raising with pocket pairs, not limping. 3. He had frequently pushed his chips in with the worst of it up to this point, he was stuck for probably close to $300, and was quite a bit tilted. I was happy to tilt him some more.

In hindsight, I also see that this play of mine actually had a bit of deception nicely built in. By checking AJ in the BB, not something any book would probably ever recommend, I was sure to get action if I hit an ace, as most (including said fish) would conclude that I would bet a big ace pre-flop.

A short while later I gave fishy back some of his chips, when my JJ failed to hold up against another one of his ace rags. I was okay, not seriously wounded, and I managed to win a couple of more pots before the break to be slightly ahead of the chip average at my table.

I plunked down another $30 for my add-on, and I was ready to go after the break, with only $85 spent - actually pretty good for a patently absurd re-buy tourney with an equally ridiculously fast blind structure in the second half of the day.

I managed to play actual poker for about a half hour or so, I raised and took a couple of pots here and there, in position with decent cards. Besides my AJ double up, I don't recall ever getting to showdown. My standard raises either got everyone to fold, or my continuation bets after the flop did the job - even when I didn't connect. Then our table broke and I moved my pretty average stack to a table that was heavy with chips on the opposite end.

I ran pretty dead for a little while, and before I knew it, the antes had kicked in. This is the time in a single day tournament where if you don't steal, you quickly get eaten alive. I was game to do some thieving, but unfortunately, even though I was technically above the "danger zone" of having only 10 big blinds in my stack, any "standard" raise on my part would essentially commit me to the hand. Barely 3 hours into the day, I found myself almost at the binary mode stage - all in or fold, pre-flop.

This was especially true because the two big stacks on the opposite end of the table from me, were applying pressure to all comers on just about every hand. They would flat call behind an out of position raiser, and take the pot away from him if he didn't fire a second barrel. Sometimes, they would even re-raise and get the job done, either before the flop or after. They had the chips to do it, and they did it well.

Just before I switched over fully to desperate mode, I found I did have one last standard raise in me, with JQ of hearts in middle position. It was essentially an ill-advised steal attempt. I am not normally fond of such trap hands, but when I do bet them I'm almost always in better position than I was here. This was really me tilted a bit, at my recent dearth of playable cards, a suited connector kind of looked like aces at this point.

It was folded around to the tables resident jumbo stack, who flat called. Before the flop hit, I had already decided to push all in if no over cards came. Risky, yes, but I wanted to represent a higher pair and get jumbo to go away - I knew he would fire if I checked, and if I blanked I would have to get away, with nearly an 8th of my stack pissed down the drain. Incidentally, and probably obviously, if I hit the flop in any way shape or form I was also pushing.

The flop came a beautiful two baby hearts and a queen. Top pair with four to a flush. I thought for a moment, and pushed all in. Jumbo tanked for a long, long time, talking to himself the entire time. I didn't say one word or move a muscle. Finally, he convinced himself that I had Ace King. He called me with pocket fours. He was basically crushed, with only one out that mercifully didn't come.

As I counted my now much healthier stack, he remarked "I knew he didn't have shit before the flop." Well, I have to say he was right, but honestly I don't believe that he really knew that.

So I was going to stick around for a little while more. The table broke, rather soon after my double up, and I found myself in a much better environment. I sat down to a table full of senior citizens, a couple of middle eastern chaps, and best of all - no jumbo stacks.

My very first hand, I looked down at AJ suited from UTG +2. I pushed all in. I figured my fold equity was pretty high, they didn't know me at all - and as I sat down I had quickly sized up all the chip stacks and was happy to discover that there wasn't one player that I couldn't hurt severely.

Sure, what I did had some risk, but in hindsight, I think that was one of the best instinctive plays that I've ever made at a live game in a card room. The old codgers literally sat their with their mouths open at my move - and folded around. Sure, if I'd had bad luck and ran into a high pocket pair, that would have been it. But I took a good risk I think, in stealing what amounted to almost a quarter of my stack in blinds and antes AND sending the table a message. "Hi there, good to be here. DON'T FUCK WITH ME."

At this point, well over 3 hours into play, the blinds and antes were hefty - so as to render a "standard" raise by most players at the table into a hand committing maneuver. I had played the majority of the day pretty tight, recognizing the unsophisticated tenor of most of the players - and also recognizing my own limitations against the bigger stacks who were effectively using selective aggression. But now I tightened up even more. I waited patiently for the right cards, and/or the right situation to make a move.

It turns out, I never got the cards at this, my third (and I'd say, my most crucial) table. But it didn't matter. I stole the blinds and antes about a half a dozen times, always with an all-in pre-flop. Not ONCE did I get called. That tells me two things. One, I was very lucky to not run into a monster hand. Two, my selective aggression and reading my targets (I knew who to avoid, and who to steal from) was spot on.

Then, just as things were once again getting desperate, and I dipped below the ever important x10 BB level in my stack for the first time, I looked down at pocket queens. My first pocket pair since my jacks in the rebuy period. I was on the button and one player raised in front of me. I pushed all in.

The small blind to my left, was on a mini-heater, and I'd also say slightly on tilt from winning the last 2 hands (strange, but it does happen). He pushed all-in over the top, the initial raiser folded and I found my queens up against - AQ. Sweet. Again, I mercifully avoided a three out bitch slap.

The double up was much needed, as the bubble (the cutoff point as to who makes the money and who doesn't) approached. I could tell pretty quickly, that I literally could fold my way to the money. And I was fine with this, I was happy, in such a fast structure at this point, to walk out with $130, $45 in profit.

I decided ahead of time at this point to fold everything but Aces or Kings. Thankfully my resolve was not tested, as I got nothing but utter junk until the bubble burst. Now I was ready to go to war without fear.

I was utterly card dead as we went to four tables total (which also happened to be my fourth table of the afternoon) but it didn't matter too much. I was able to steal - all in pre-flop, every other orbit or so, just enough to stay ahead of the game. My craziest move was an all-in shove from the cutoff with Q7os (the computer hand - the very last starting pair that is a favorite to beat any two random cards). I also stole with pocket 10's, and yes, another AJ.

One by one the players dropped around me. I had been a short stack, along with most other players, for well over 2/3 of the tournament. But I was fine with it, especially after the bubble. I honestly was happy with all my moves, even the ones with less than great cards. I was putting my fold equity to the max, not crippling myself ahead of time and letting other players call me and then outplay me on the flop. I had a healthy enough stack to put a real decision to all but the biggest of stacks, which I happily avoided.

Finally, we drew for the final two tables. I sat down with again, less than ten times the big blind. Actually, FAR less than ten times - because the blinds were now CRAZY big. It was that time of the tournament, time to get everyone out before the minimum wage dealers went into overtime pay. I knew I was going to have to take the plunge with garbage cards, I was NOT going to punk out and get blinded off. I had played too well to go out like a biznatch.

But my cards were SO ugly, a 49, a J3, and then UTG I looked down at Q4. I almost pulled the trigger, but then for some reason thought I'd take my chances on the next hand which would be a devastating big blind.

I put almost half of my chips in for the BB, and the player to my immediate left led out with a "standard" raise which was a big chunk of his chips. For some reason, I took that moment to look at my cards. Throughout the tournament I had been very good about not looking until it was my turn to act. But I think I was so eager to see what I would have to call with (I was pot committed with my blind) that I looked down at what I had.

Aces.

I could barely contain myself as the cutoff called the UTG raise. "All in." I calmly announced. UTG got a count and called, as did the reluctant cutoff - who had foolishly priced himself in with, as it would turn out, a very mediocre holding.

So the main pot would triple me up, if I could avoid getting my bullets cracked.

A queen high flop. UTG bet out. Cutoff, hemmed and hawed, and hemmed and hawed for eternity before finally folding his pocket nines face up. UTG quickly turned up his AQ, I proudly showed off my pocket rockets. The table was aghast as I avoided a two outer and scooped up a substantial pot. With the big ass blinds, the chunky antes, PLUS three times my remaining stack, I was officially off of life support.

Two hands later, I looked down in the cutoff, with one caller in front of me, at AK. I pushed all-in. My stack was okay, but I didn't like a call here. The blinds were just too crazy big. I had to put that caller, who I had covered, to the test. It was folded to him and he called quickly. Ugh, I didn't like that speed. He tabled pocket sixes. Meh, not crazy about that call - but I was happy to race.

If he won, I'd be crippled. The flop and the turn didn't look good, I had only six outs. One of them (the case king as it turns out, two others said they folded king-rags) spiked on the river.

Now I had a stack, a real big ass stack. Though, believe it or not, not so big as to let me bully the table - lest I follow in the footsteps of the former big stack in the cutoff during my aces hand. He, through badly timed aggression, was now a mere nub of his former self - all in the space of less than an orbit.

I could see clearly, as we drew for the final table - that all of us (including a "monster" stack who had me at 2 to 1) were actually short stacked. It would be almost entirely luck that determined who won what from this point on.

And that, my dear friends, is why HPC always does a chip count at the start of the final table, and presents an option to chop, based on the relative sizes of the remaining stacks. They don't pressure, they don't cajole, they are very sly about it. They run the numbers and offer very nice pay-outs, and only on very rare exceptions does someone object.

In this case, we were almost all amiable - especially me. I stood to take home $2330 in cold cash, for my fourth place finish. The chip leader was the one potential hold-out. He would be taking the biggest cut of all, receiving 4K instead of 7K. I had been chatting with him a bit during this process, and very gently remarked (a couple of times in a couple of different ways) how quickly the chip standings could evaporate with the blinds the way they were.

It seemed to sink in, as he agreed to the terms just before we were due to sit down. He had to be sure though, that his name would go up on the wall. I laughed inwardly at this. To me, all that mattered was that I had turned $85 into over $2000 in less than six hours. Talk about intoxicating!

But I was a good boy. I went straight back to work and got done all that I had to do.

Needless to say, it was pretty easy to break the news to my wife that I had impulsively snuck away a bit for some poker - when I dropped 20 c-notes in her lap! Yes, all the winnings went to the boss, as they should. My bi-monthly live game is NOT part of my poker bankroll as of yet. It is purely for entertainment - yes, gambling. When I start to crush the HPC tournaments on a regular basis, I might reconsider, but for now I am happy to treat it as a little treat for myself that I get to have every 60 days or so.

I thought I played great, but the cold reality is that I was VERY lucky. I managed to avoid any catastrophic suck-outs for once and I also had good luck in getting more than my fair share of especially good starting cards when I needed them the most.

On the other hand, in all honesty, I don't think I got my money in bad a single time. Every time that I can remember, when I was all in pre-flop (and this was quite a few times as HPC's blind structure gets a bit ridiculous after 3 hours) I was ahead before the board came. I did play very well. I played very tight, maybe too tight occasionally, but I was so hyper conscious of the blinds in relation to my stack - that I know that at least 90% of all my decisions were correct.

I outlasted 290 other players, 29 full tables of ten, by far my best finish ever at HPC. (Although looking back at the year, this was actually my 5th final table, 2 in the admittedly small H.O.R.S.E. tournaments and 2 in the much bigger Hold-em events).

End result - I finished live card room poker for the year ahead well over $2000. My home game also showed a modest profit, and as you all know my online game (with the exception of the Flatline league) went from zero to in the black. Even the Flatline league, in which I am down for the year, I am overall up just slightly.

All in all, a great year - especially great to cap it with such a big win. Ah well, so much for getting over this sickness!